Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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