I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
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He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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