I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Randomize