im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
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my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
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