Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize