The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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