mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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