so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize