If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Randomize