Having a random hookup so left but love u
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize