I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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