I wish I could teleport
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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