Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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