btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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