Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize