ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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