I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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