If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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