East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i think i have herpe
just one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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