dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
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I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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