I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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