Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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