Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize