i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize