So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize