There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize