I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize