??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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