I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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