Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize