margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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