3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize