Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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