you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm really busy with my period
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