the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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