He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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