I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
More tranny stories later!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize