Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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