Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize