whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You are a genius and a whore.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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