He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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