I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize