if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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