Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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