If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
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I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
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You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I would fuck him just for his dog
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