Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
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Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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