real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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