Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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