No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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