I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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