She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
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Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
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Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize