Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Drake has all the answers
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